


Lullaby for the end of the world.

by dragonshapedemon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Action & Romance, Age Swap, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Drama & Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Language, Light Angst, Like real intense, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Romance, Sorry Not Sorry, Sugawara Koushi is a Mess, Violence, family tree went crazy in this one, humor to cover the wounds, iwaizumi is so confused, kurotsuki is so in love, oikawa is the biggest himbo ever, romance and zombies, sugasuna has so much tension going on omfg, suna is intense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29701461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonshapedemon/pseuds/dragonshapedemon
Summary: Set three months after the outbreak of a pandemic that turns everything dead into living, walkers, zombies, hungry beasts that plunge Japan and the whole world into an apocalyptic period, the story follows a group of survivors who are waiting for the warning, the one that will allow them to leave for the clean island. In the process, there are losses, lack of resources and crude discussions, but also reunions and the subsequent coexistence that, perhaps, will bring feelings to the surface.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kozume Kenma, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Sugawara Koushi/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. A cruel start.

**Author's Note:**

> (✷‿✷) well hello there. this is a work that i am currently publishing in spanish, and now i am encouraged to share it in english, even though this is not my native language. i apologize in advance for any possible mistakes. i hope you can enjoy the story as much as i enjoy writing it. there are some clarifications at the end of the chapter, so see you at the end. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

It must be around seven-thirty in the morning when the first rays of sunlight are glimpsed through the few very small slits that look into the main room of the house. The amount of time he has been subjected to those kinds of conditions allows her brown eyes to quickly become accustomed to the gloom, so he has no trouble focusing her gaze on the neglected ceiling of the room. He doesn't recognize it as his own, but it doesn't disorient him either. It takes no great effort to relocate in time and space. There are smells he can no longer mistake: dust, damp, debris and abandonment, as you would expect.

"It looks like the vast majority have withdrawn from the surrounding area. It's all clear."

The wherper directed at his person is not distant and he can hear it perfectly in the stillness of the desolate house. A few meters ahead is Ushijima Wakatoshi, standing with his usual uprightness in front of one of the two large windows, analyzing the outside panorama. He knows him as his former neighbor, with whom he has now been living...  _ surviving _ for the past three months.

Three months. He takes a small notebook from the nearby backpack that he does accept as his own in his memory, there he marks a date in excellent handwriting:  _ October 23. Three months. _

"Kenjirou-kun?" Being newly awakened, his own voice sounds raspy and muffled to him. 

"Examining the bedrooms upstairs." Ushijima replies.

His body is tense and sore when he finally breaks away from the ground, his back overly contracted from the bad rest (which has inevitably become a habit). The man in front of him gives him a sympathetic smile as he notices his exaggerated grimace of pain. They share the gesture for short seconds as he too approaches the window to generate his own scrutiny of the terrain ahead. The dawn seems to always appease the terrifying atmosphere that the night insists on building, and it is true, there is not much movement in sight.

"Do you think we can move? The house isn't really secured, we weren't chased here last night by a miracle." Oikawa identifies the worry in the older man's voice as he speaks, and reminds himself about keeping the calm that can sustain them.

"Yes, we need to keep foraging and I prefer to do it early."

"Let's leave as soon as possible, then. You should try to take a shower, we still have some water…”

"Thank you, but no, Ushijima-san. Let's save our resources, you never know when else we might need them and I'm not going to risk it." He guesses the frown on the man's face seconds before it arrives, it's a sense of frustration he empathizes with. He reminds himself, once again, about keeping his words firm.

"Wipe the blood off your face, at least."

"Good morning, Oikawa-san." It's a low greeting that interrupts the silence, Kenjirou's gentle voice, followed by the slender silhouette coming down the stairs. The faint optimistic smile lets him know he's found something.

"Good morning, Kenjirou-kun, do you have anything with you?"

"Indeed."

Kenjirou always surprises Oikawa. At his short fifteen years he has a weak condition but an immaculate beauty, small and thin complexion, the inevitable pallor and a pair of dark bags that are marked under his eyes, anemia has been consuming him from a very early age as a result of a risky pregnancy. Yet the young man manages to compensate for the darkness that surrounds them with the most radiant smiles, the warmest eyes directed at his two companions, an unstoppable devotion to his older brother. By comparison, Wakatoshi is something of a monster. Twenty-four years old, training present in his marked muscles, stoic face, a gaze that only seems to soften when directed at his adored Kenjirou. They complement each other as much as it is possible to imagine given the circumstances, for being Wakatoshi very agile and strong, he takes full responsibility for his ailing younger brother, the only family he has left. Despite the wide difference in their ages the communication between the two is perfect, they seem to have codes that only work for them. He has adapted as much as possible to the silent and serene logic of the pair.

The youngest of the three catches their attention with what he is holding, so they end up gathered in the center of the room, right where Oikawa had been asleep minutes before. Between the slender fingers rests a firearm, surprise illuminating the exhausted faces.

"This is..."

"It was in one of the drawers of the closet, in the married couple’s bedroom. There was too much blood so I guess they could never reach it… But it's with its bullets and safety on, it's .38 caliber." A new silence, Oikawa knows they are waiting for his decision.

"Perfect. Let's keep it, these guns aren't that quiet so we're going to have to leave it for extreme cases only."

"I want nii-san to take it."

"What? Of course not, you've-"

"I also think it's a good idea for you to carry it." Seconds Oikawa, putting one of his hands on the shoulder of the taller one who looks really disgusted with the idea. "You know how to use them, you have good aim too, better than us. Use your knife like so far, but have it in case something happens."

The new silence lets him know that his decision has been accepted.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


He slightly abhors the image returned to him by the reflection in the master bathroom mirror. It is sinisterly stained with blood, as is his right cheek. He tries turning on the faucet and nothing comes out… at times he feels he has no strength left to be frustrated, but still a snort manages to leave the tiny opening that has been left between his pale lips. He looks dull, dispirited, exhausted. He has forgotten when was the last time he was able to have a corresponding break. Somewhere in the back of his mind he also wonders if there is anyone out there who is able to rest. Or if there is anyone at all. They haven't seen anyone else besides themselves for weeks on end.

Leaning with both hands on the sink, he lets his head fall forward, eyes closed. But it's a bad decision, and he only knows it when the images begin to seep abruptly, one after another, into his memories. Heart-rending screams, blood, guns, people running, supplies running out, despair, the aberrant growls of the beasts pushing them to flee further and further away from stability, from the memories of their homes, their families, their friends.

It's not as if Oikawa had a good place to return to anyway. Three months ago, it had been just two days since his return from England to Japan, and to his lack of surprise there was no one at the airport waiting for him. Parents as busy as he remembered them well. The afternoon it all happened he found them being part of a group of disfigured faces, hungry mouths pointed in his direction, the image turning his stomach.

"Oikawa-san?"

The call is soft, but it brings him out of his musings with a sharp intake of breath. When he turns around, he finds the repentant face of young Kenjirou.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you… Let me do it for you."

The blond shortens the distance that separates them, bringing with him a plastic bottle and a cloth. Oikawa knows what he's going to do but gets a shush that shuts his mouth before he can even open it to protest. He can't take it against him and they both know it, the shorter boy has power over him and knows how to use it.

Kenjirou drops some of the water he is carrying over the sink, thus wetting the cloth in question. He wrings out the excess and turns to face Oikawa, who is waiting for him with an impossible-to-read expression. He slides the cloth kindly over the skin of his face where the dried blood ruins. The cleaning takes little time but is a ritual they both seem to want to go through. Like a pair of cats grooming each other to relax, a bubble moment like that is everything, it grounds them, reconnects them, turns off the adrenaline for a while. The gesture is polite and sweet. These are the ways that Kenjirou has been showing more and more to the brown-haired man over time, he seems to be gradually adopting him as a second older brother. Oikawa is more awkward in this respect: an only child. He hasn't really lived with many people younger than him, and despite having an innate leadership spirit, he had always been the spoiled one in his groups of friends.

"There. Wakatoshi nii-san has left everything arranged for us to leave as soon as you say so."

"Perfect, we'll most likely take the opposite route we came from, we should investigate the surroundings a bit, it looks like the neighborhood is pretty empty."

"I'll be waiting downstairs then, Oikawa-san."

The older murmurs a sincere thank you to which Kenjirou responds with a smile.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


"Clear, come in anytime, youngsters."

"Can you stop repeating that word? It's disturbing when it comes from you."

"How cruel you are to me... It's like you stab me, my chest, my chest bleeds."

"Fantastic. I hope you die soon."

"Hey, what will you do then if your  _ damn sexy _ boyfriend dies? I'm sure you wouldn't celebrate losing this d-"

"I promise you, no one wants to hear what comes next."

"This delightful person."

Several voices suddenly intermingle on the radio that the small group shares. Inside the enclosure they are not separated by great distances, in fact it is enough to look around a little to enter in the visual field of all, but the tool allows the wherpered warnings that many times have saved their lives.

"There's nothing here, for fuck's sake."

"Let's watch our vocabulary, please."

"Your voice is scary, Kuroo-san..."

"There are other things about me that are even scarier, little Yamaguchi."

"I promise you, no one wants to know what comes next, Kuroo-san."

"Oi, Nishinoya, wait for me to catch up with you as soon as we're done here, we'll settle it like the adults we are."

"That would be unfair. Pick on someone your own size, Tetsurou."

"Tsukishima, you piece of-!"

"Quiet, I heard something outside."

The four young men immediately obey the order, all senses sharpening in an attempt to find the source of the sound mentioned by the shrill voice of the eldest of those present, who is leaning out of one of the windows, a rifle with a telescopic sight being his tool to satiate his doubt. There is an anxious exchange of glances amidst the silence that drags on, wearily, until it’s interrupted by a second shriek. It makes them alert. The young man named Kuroo is the first to step forward, but the others only need that moment to rush into action at the same time, as if it were in their blood to go to the unknown problem. Partly so, it's like that. It has been that way for the last three months.

They are organized and cautious in spite of the hurry, they dictate precise orders to each other that allow them to find the place where the chaos is coming from more quickly: four floors below where they are, three silhouettes sneak as best they can in an alley without much known exit. They are being chased by a couple of walkers, but a block further down the street you can make out the wide horde that is slowly but surely seeking to reach the living source of food, guided by the now recognizable sound of voices calling out to each other.

"Shit, we cleaned that alley last week...!" The complaint is blurted out by a blond, his voice reflecting notorious anxiety.

"Koutarou, clean the stairs, I'm going to jump."

"Gotcha!"

"What!? Kuroo, no, it's plagued...!"

This time it’s panic that creeps into the guy’s voice, even his expression transforms to one that mixes anguish, alertness and restrained anger. Kuroo cradles his cheeks between his palms after hearing him, and decides to plant a quick kiss on his lips that clearly unnerves him more than it reassures him. Under the intimacy afforded them by the short separation, he whispers to him in the most playful tone he has.

"Come find me."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Their outing had gone really well the first hour. They scoured the surrounding houses, finished off a couple of monsters and despite having been a bit subdued the first few minutes of searching, Wakatoshi's strong find seemed to have raised the hopes of the three boys. It was a pharmacy still full of medicine, bottles of water, a couple of snacks that they hurried to gobble up… They had more than renewed energy.

"Let's continue a few more miles, maybe we can start to get away from the city."

Oikawa's directions were often the most accurate, that's what Kenjirou repeated to them every night before going to sleep, and at some point he had ended up believing it. His directions were the most accurate. He could lead them to an early exit, perhaps to some safe house, luck was on their side that day, for the first time in weeks. All they needed to do was to continue at the same pace.

"Let's check this one out before we continue, it doesn't look that sloppy."

Oikawa weighs the option. It is just another house in the neighborhood, its condition however seems higher than its surroundings, letting him know that whoever lived there previously had had a good income. Perhaps some things of value for their survival could be waiting inside. He observes what they carry: a backpack each, and two half-filled sports bags; they still had room.

"Yeah, let's make this quick."

Life seems to have smiled on them this time. To enter the house they have to go through the back door that leads directly to the kitchen. They search the second floor together to make sure there are no surprises waiting for them and once they are sure of that, the brothers continue with the second floor, while Oikawa is in charge of searching every nook and cranny. The possibilities of chance finds begin to dwindle before his eyes, the emptier behind every door he opens. His companions return a few minutes later with clear hands.

"Shit, I was sure there would be something…”

"Kenjirou, correct your vocabulary."

"Nii-san… I'm not ten years old anymore."

"You are still young and you stand before me."

"Oikawa-san speaks very badly too…”

The aforementioned ended up choking on his own saliva in a terrible attempt to contain the sudden laughter that such a comment wants to steal from him. Was Kenjirou suddenly being rebellious? That happened from time to time, times when the young blond seemed to reveal himself to his older brother's voice. The latter doesn't seem so happy with the resolution, he makes that clear with the furtive glance he casts in his direction. Oikawa knows when to back off, and that seems to be a good time.

Retracing his steps, the brown-haired man looks for the exit, the same sliding door through which they entered a few minutes before. It leads to a neglected backyard, a wooden fence protecting the property. There is a wide tree in one corner.

"What about over there? What do you say we look over there?"

Once again the young man's enthusiastic voice interrupts his vague thoughts. He points towards a shed, and boy was he in the clouds because he hadn't noticed it before. A sidelong glance lets him notice how tired Kenjirou is starting to get, though his radiant gaze remains present. One more search, they will check that shed and look for somewhere safe to rest.

"Yeah, come on, maybe we'll find some useful tools in there."

"Nii-san, we'll look here."

"Right away."

Both young men decide to calmly move forward towards the faded shed, hearing Wakatoshi's quiet footsteps a few seconds later behind them. The doors are locked with a chain and padlock, but they have the solution. Kenjirou ventures to take from his backpack a shear, an old friend who has helped them on multiple occasions. It is Oikawa who is in charge of positioning it on the padlock, forces and… Breaks. Kenjirou celebrates briefly as he takes the chains to finally open the door.

However, it is not him in particular who does it. Brute force suddenly pushes from the other side the wood that opens until it breaks, weak from lack of maintenance. The blow comes at the same time for Oikawa and Kenjirou, both falling to the ground immediately. The latter however does so with the extra weight of a beast that bellows with its mouth open looking for a corner where to sink its sharp and disastrous jaw. It smells bad, and it hurts.

Everything happens really fast. Wakatoshi lunges with a desperate call at the beast, as does Oikawa, who clutches the heavy claw in his trembling hands. The noisy struggle to get it off him is joined by the bellowing of more walkers on the other side of the wooden fence, which continually threatens to collapse. Kenjirou sobs and calls for his brother, who finally manages to dislodge the younger boy from the monster's hellish grip. Oikawa hits him two, three, four times on the head to end its ravenous hunger. The three of them gasp for breath for a few short moments, with the youngest breaking the silence with a trickle of voice.

"Nii-san…”

The three pairs of eyes focus on the same place. Kenjirou's right arm, torn, bleeding… Infected.

The time to process what they have just seen is reduced to zero when the fence collapses a few meters from them, emerging behind it a mass of perhaps twenty walkers. They hurriedly gather their belongings ready to flee the damn garden, the damn house.

Oikawa's choices seem to be no longer effective. Ushijima runs, taking Kenjirou firmly by the hand, with the brown-haired man blindly guiding the way. They don't know where to go, but definitely the routes they take are of little help. When they come to realize more and more the number grows, the difficulty to avoid them increases, their voices begin to rise in erratic indications and desperate calls, the lungs burn, the reality overwhelms. A turn around a corner corners them into a dead end, with a horde heading towards them without leaving them much chance to run. Kenjirou is the one who screams in fright when he is once again taken in the clutches of one of these beasts. This time, however, Ushijima does not manage to save him, but the accurate arrow is able to pierce cleanly through the skull of the walker.

"Take it easy. If you can't fight right now stand back, I'll cover you."

Kenjirou looks completely dumbfounded at the man who has just… fallen in front of his eyes. Tall and well-built, with messy black hair, the confident smile intensifying as he arranges the bow in front of his eyes. A second arrow shoots straight between the eyebrows of yet another monster.

"Kenjirou! Are you okay?" Ushijima grabs his younger brother by the shoulders and pushes him behind his back, noticing the shorter one's state of shock. His gaze crosses for short moments with that of the one who just arrived.

"I need you to help me here for a moment, in no time that door over there will open for us to move to a safe place and…”

And while Ushijima takes care of a walker, the black-haired man's dark gaze meets another pair of eyes watching him back. Oikawa's expression is a complete poem, just like Kuroo's who seems to be having the same difficulty believing what he is seeing. Yet he is abruptly snatched from his bubble of astonishment in the next instant by a violent grip that jerks him off her axis and pushes him to the ground.

"Shit…”

Oikawa reacts faster, lunging forward without a second thought with the shear still in hand to slam it with all his might against the being. This time, pure adrenaline causes the head to disfigure completely under the blow, splattering them both with the foul-smelling blood… again, not too much time to think. Oikawa helps the newcomer to his feet, still exchanging expressions of confusion and surprise between the two. Kuroo is, however, the first to smile.

"Give me a hand here, Koutarou is waiting for us on the other side." Something in Oikawa's chest flips just from hearing the name.

"Kuroo-san! Focus, you animal!"

"I know, I know! Hurry behind the door. Yams, I'm going to need your hands here."

"Coming!"

A few meters ahead of them, a slender figure steps through one of the windows of the building on their right, dodging the short wall in a graceful leap. His appearance is impeccable, not at all noisy, matching his clean-cut manner as he makes his way through the walkers. He confidently grasps a thin wooden rod, sharpened at both ends, which he nimbly uses to pierce the head of the first walker that darts in his direction. He uses the strength and weight of the beast against it, receiving the impact with a diagonal blow that pierces its head from the opening of its mouth. He guides the inert body to its dry fall against the pavement, pulling himself upright after finishing the first task. He reveals his stylized body as he turns around, a face with a kindly expression covered in freckles and greenish hair that he half-raises to reveal, also, how the underside is (inattentively) tinged with silver.

His participation continues to become present as he gets rid of every walker that appears within a short distance of his field of vision: in a matter of seconds he is next to Kuroo.

"What are they doing on the other side?" Asks the black-haired man, calmer than he should be, compared to the desperation of the trio that was initially attacked.

"Well, your order was very sudden, Kuroo-san, we hadn't been through here for a week so the first floor seems to have built up… That window is broken- watch out."

The reaction of the warned one is quick, and he gets rid of yet another one without any detours. The four of them take care of as many walkers as they begin to appear, noticing that the number becomes greater, it’s a little heavier each time.

"Shit, they're piling up… Tsukki, I'm going to need your eyes here."

"If anything happens to both of you, Tetsurou…”

"Trust your  _ damn sexy _ boyfriend and your  _ skilled _ best friend more, please."

A few floors above, someone fires cleanly and with the best possible aim at the beasts that want to accumulate a few meters away. The shots are silent, and  _ frighteningly _ accurate as well. Oikawa can't even think of looking up to find the new assistant. His attention is completely taken by the oncoming horde. It's hard to breathe, hard to stay calm, Kenjirou behind him barely reacts, Wakatoshi seems to be working on automatic, Kuroo…

"Guys, over here! Hurry on in."

The call, like a heavenly invitation, comes from a booming voice to his right. Oikawa barely turns to look, reacting mostly because the young man… Yams? He seems to warn them with flashy signs, though his voice is friendly. Between him and Kuroo they begin to back away, leading them towards said door. Wakatoshi goes first with Kenjirou to enter, they are closely followed by the green-haired freckled boy, Oikawa, and finally Kuroo, who after shooting a few last arrows (and carelessly darting to retrieve the closest ones), is the one in charge of closing the door abruptly. The locks are hurriedly put in place by trembling hands, while a short black-haired young man (whose bleached blond locks stand out on his forehead) guides them up the stairs. No one stops rushing up the stairs until they are on the third floor. The door to one of the secure offices closes and only then do they collapse. Everyone is completely shaken, processing the information, the events.

"You fucking…”

"Oh no…”

The threat is real in the voice of the tall blond guy as he strides toward the group that has just arrived. Kuroo straightens up in his place, reflexively raising both arms in surrender as he takes awkward steps backwards. He is inevitably grabbed by the collar of his clothes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, jumping off the fourth floor like that!!? You could have broken something!! And you think I didn't see how you were taken, huh!? Were you hurt!? What about picking up the damn arrows again!!! There's a fucking horde of zombies down there, four floors below!"

"Tsukki…”

"Shut your mouth, Yamaguchi!"

The reality falls on them like a bucket of ice water, so as not to let them weigh much more of what is happening there. The grip that Wakatoshi has on one of Kenjirou's hands is dangerously tightened by the shorter one. The force is beastly in a matter of seconds, Kenjirou exhaling a guttural bellow seconds before lunging towards his older brother. The sight is horrifying. Everyone reacts quickly, stepping aside, going into guard at once, ready to finish him off. Wakatoshi's firm shout leaves them frozen in place.

"I'll do it! He's my brother, I'm going to do it. Whoever dares to lay a single finger on him, I swear…”

He is fierce, threatening, his voice raspy, as dark as his gaze itself. He has a grip that controls between struggles the transformed body of his younger brother… Of the one who is no longer his younger brother. Oikawa's expression is that of someone who cannot escape the worst scene of terror in a nightmare. He watches, helplessly, the putrid and disgusting color that has taken Kenjirou's face, erasing the pure and innocent gentleness. He had been devoured by the virus that killed everything, to return to life in the cruelest, most unjust way. He watches helplessly, Wakatoshi's face completely devastated by the decision that life has made for him, that he has just made for his younger brother. He seems to review the voracious expression of the face in front of his eyes, as if wanting to engrave in his memory what his carelessness has provoked.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


For the next half hour, the office is silent, out of uncertainty, out of respect. The only thing they are able to hear is the din of the horde several floors below them.

Oikawa glances around at those present. Wakatoshi has moved several meters away from everyone, with Kenjirou's completely limp body in his arms. He had asked for space and it had been granted. "Tsukki" is the most reluctant about the situation, clearly distrustful of the newcomers, and their disadvantageous situation. He seems furious with Kuroo, at whom he shoots deep looks of hatred, though it is easy for him to read the sincere concern in his light eyes. Tetsurou seems used to it anyway. There are two other young men analyzing the situation like him. The "Yams" guy who helped them earlier, and the short one waiting for them behind the door. A third pair of eyes is watching, but specifically at him. Bokuto has his wild gaze anchored on Oikawa, who finally returns his own… hesitantly.

"No shit…”

The comment is low, but in the silence of the room it attracts the attention of almost everyone present. Bokuto takes the first three steps forward, hesitant, as if trying to connect all the thoughts going through his mind at that moment, it seems that he has just really noticed his presence. He can't blame him. They haven't really heard from each other for… Five years?  _ Five years and about three months. _

"Hey, Kou-chan…”

"No shit, no shit."

Five strides later and their bodies slam into each other in a tight embrace. Oikawa feels the pressure is extreme, it makes him dizzy, it makes his exhausted body ache, but he couldn't care less. Instead he pulls him back with as much strength as he has left, clinging to his friend's broad back.

"Shit, for a moment I thought I was dreaming. It's really you."

The speaker is Kuroo. Confusion settles in the rest of the people around them, when Kuroo joins in the tight embrace. They create between the three of them some kind of Oikawa sandwich, between gasping exhalations that betray the close cry. As they separate they take the time to look at each other, faces blotched, gestures exhausted, smiles hindered by the weight of what has just happened.

"Can one of you be so kind as to explain what is going on?" Claims Tsukishima, tone petulant as he speaks.

"Tsukki, this is…” The one who starts is Kuroo, though he is quickly cut off by the rage still present in his partner.

"Don't call me that."

"My name is Oikawa Tooru… They… This is Ushijima Wakatoshi. This is his younger brother, Kenjirou."

"Shit, Tooru… I can't believe it. I can't believe you're here." Bokuto's voice insists after a short silence, still pulled off its axis.

"There are other things we need to attend to right now, Bokuto-san. Not your stupid reunion or whatever is going on here. The kid over there was bitten, how can we be sure they haven't been too?"

"Stop it, Kei." There is darkness in Kuroo's voice as he addresses the blond, who ends up looking away, walking away from the group in general.

"I'll check the office."

No one says much more after that. The group knows that that office is completely clean, it’s a base that they often use as a bridge and shelter when they are in the area. The group also knows that this is the only way Tsukishima Kei finds to avoid being hurtful when he's upset: to step aside to lower the fumes. So they let him go. The short guy also steps aside but because a particular sound catches his attention. A bird shriek sounds closer this time, and it has the same effect on the group.

"Nishinoya, is that…?" The doubt comes from Koutarou's side.

"Thunder is here, he must have a message from Daichi-san." Responds the guy encouragingly.

Oikawa has his attention on him, in his words. Nishinoya very resolutely approaches one of the windows and raises his gaze to the sky, a smile spreads across his face for reasons he discovers only seconds later. The young man's short, slender but well-covered arm suddenly reaches out of the building, and in the blink of an eye a good-sized bird perches obediently on it. The image is completely etched in his memory… It is majestic.

After picking up something he seems to be carrying strapped to one of his legs, Nishinoya places it on his right shoulder and returns inside, satisfied.

"Daichi…?" Oikawa belatedly falls for the information provided by that very name. In his eyes there is a hint of illusion. Both Kuroo and Bokuto turn to him with a smile that they have previously exchanged with each other. They have the same mischievous gesture that he well remembers, it fills sooner rather than later his chest with warmth. Koutarou speaks first, low, not wishing to interrupt Ushijima's mourning.

"There are several people who may be glad of your appearance… There where we are. Remember the Shūkaku boarding school?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"We are gathered there, Tooru. We have a good community, there's some information we can surely tell you about once we've taken you there… Both of you, if you don't have anywhere to stay right now." Kuroo resumes speaking.

"And even if they have, they should all come with us!"

"I don't think it works that way, Bo."

"Why not!!! Imagine it, we'd be a super community!"

"How do we know if it's safe to wear them?"

Tsukishima's cold voice cuts off the air and Oikawa's breath in a matter of seconds. Their gazes meet, they hold each other’s.

"The vibes you carry with you today are thoroughly unpleasant, Tsukki." Bokuto snaps, a bit irritated.

"No, it's fine, it's… understandable" Oikawa senses the exact moment when his voice catches the attention of absolutely everyone present. "Not that it's pleasant for me, for us, to be in this situation either. I understand. You seem to have a community… We don't. We've been together since it all started, surviving. This is all cruel, there is a looming reality in front of our eyes and I know everyone here knows that. But we have not been hurt. Nor are we empty-handed. I'd like to talk it over with Wakatoshi-kun first, but…”

"We mourn our fallen."

Once again it is Nishinoya who makes his voice sound suddenly. It comes like a gentle spring breeze. It stirs things within those present. There is something curiously comforting about his steady, confident and kind presence, he has no double intentions. Only then does Ushijima's gaze wander from his younger brother's face, to meet in the deep eyes of his speaker. They hold each other that way, no one interrupting until Nishinoya himself decides to resume his words.

"We mourn our fallen, bury them, and pray for them. Kenjirou-kun will have his space there if you wish."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


The tour is guided by Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, who walk side by side upstairs. Bokuto and Kuroo have explained to Oikawa and Ushijima (although the latter hardly seems to be there) that there is a bridge on the eighth floor connecting this very building to another one across the street. The five of them are part of the  _ exploration and supply a-line _ , a name that was apparently decided upon by some energetic people in the group… and in the end has stuck with them. In either case, they are in charge of conducting scouting for resources and supplies of any kind, in the areas that  _ line b _ clears for them previously. None of them give much specification of who is in the b-line or who is waiting for them at the boarding school, but they do take the opportunity to officially introduce themselves.

"My name is Yamaguchi Tadashi, it is a pleasure to meet you." The green-haired and freckled young man,  _ Yams _ , is the one who decides to continue after both elders of the group said their names before Ushijima.

"Nishinoya Yuu, twenty-one years old, and this here is Thunder, my falcon. He usually acts as a messenger following certain routes that are marked for him beforehand, isn't that great? He's brought a message from Daichi-san ther time, asking for our return, apparently the b-line has arrived before us."

"That's… amazing."

"Tsukishima Kei." Silence doesn't reign for long after that, Kuroo takes it upon himself to break it.

"You see, this little guy is a bandit, right now he's throwing a huge tantrum because I got a little out of control earlier today. He's never going to admit how sexy he thinks I look when I do."

The argument breaks out. Tsukishima looks about to implode with the crimson color furiously burning from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. The others go along with the silliness, soon dispelling the young blond's bad mood. He seems to be stubborn anyway and won't loosen up, not at the moment, probably because he's not yet given the confidence to do so. Oikawa thinks he's fine.

Crossing the bridge and going back down the eight floors in the new building allows them to take a safe shortcut where they literally do not cross a single walker, straight to an open street where a van awaits them. The road is moderately quiet, Nishinoya recommends them to rest a bit as they have about half an hour to the boarding school. Before getting in, he releases Thunder with a simple push of his arm, the hawk flies faithfully over the vehicle all the way. It’s Koutarou who drives.

Oikawa tries, keeping his eyes open during the ride. He registers the image of Yamaguchi wiping the freshest blood from his wooden rod with a cloth, headphones on, the music plays very subtly and he accompanies it with gentle head movements. Nishinoya rides in the passenger seat, looking out, occasionally crossing words with Koutarou who does not wipe the broad smile from his face. Kuroo travels sitting next to Tsukishima, by this time they seem to have reconciled because they talk quietly in whispers while the fingers of their hands touch each other absentmindedly. They don't seem to realize they're doing it, a completely natural gesture for them as they immerse themselves in whatever it is they're conversing about. They look good together, he thinks.

The last thing he remembers seeing is Kenjirou's corpse covered by a pair of clothes given by those present, cradled over the body of Wakatoshi who doesn't even seem to be sleepy. Slowly, Oikawa rests his head on the shoulder of his companion, his neighbor, and a hand on the chest of Kenjirou, his companion, his neighbor.


	2. A safe place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! i really appreciate the support the story has been receiving, it means a lot to me. hope you enjoy this one as well, although it's a slower and angsty chapter.  
> there are some clarifications about their ages at the end! see you there. ( ◜‿◝ )♡

It’s subtle, but the change in the speed of the van as they approach their destination is enough to wake Oikawa from his short nap. The first thing that enters his field of vision once he opens his eyes, is the clothes covering Kenjirou's corpse, and immediately a stabbing pain settles in his chest. It’s as if to remind him that this is real… He has barely had time to understand that his little companion is no longer with them, nor will he be from now on.

"Are they awake? It won’t be much longer now."

Nishinoya's firm voice comes from the seats in front of him to wake them up. Oikawa takes his time to make a visual review of his surroundings in an attempt to reposition himself, which first brings back the image of Yamaguchi resting leaning against the door, seconds later the weight of a pair of golden eyes calls him to meet Tsukishima. He looks really concentrated analyzing every tiny movement he exerts, like a distrustful, suspicious cat, and Kuroo at his side seems entertained by that. Oikawa relents and withdraws his gaze first, focusing on Wakatoshi at his side.

The image he receives however strikes deep into his body, chills his blood all at once. Ushijima doesn't seem to be there, stone-faced, eyes devoid of any kind of sparkle he might have once found in him. The tears that suddenly accumulate make it difficult for him, but he manages to wipe them away in a hurry. He can't get a word in edgewise when the van stops, waiting for the fortified gates of the boarding school to open for them to continue their way. Finally the engine gives up its roar as it comes to a complete stop, inside. He knows as soon as he hears the bars closing behind him:  _ they are safe. For the first time in three months, Oikawa is in a safe place. _

At the front, Nishinoya is the first one to get out of the vehicle, seemingly in a hurry. Yamaguchi moves next as he opens the sliding door to get out, making way for Tsukishima. Kuroo follows close behind, though he pauses for a few seconds to glance at the pair who seem to be gathering strength to accompany them. In the end he seems to hold back anything he might have thought of saying, to instead allow them the privacy they need.

"Ushijima-san? We're here." In response, Oikawa only receives a lazy blink from the alluded one. The older of the two looks completely gone as he turns his face in his direction seconds later, as if just processing his words.

"Excuse me?"

"To the boarding school… We've arrived, we can go now. Do you want… me to help you?"

Their gazes meet with difficulty. Oikawa feels that he can't connect with Wakatoshi, but the way he notices him anchoring his body in his arms somehow gives him the calm of knowing that he is still there.

"Let's do it."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


"Welcome back, boys. How was your morning? I was told by Nishinoya that I am urgently required."

"Takeda-sensei, yes. We need… a ceremony."

Oikawa helps Wakatoshi out of the van while some people gather a few meters away. There is too much information to process in front of their eyes: Kuroo is talking to a short man in his early thirties, they are joined by Nishinoya, with Thunder well settled on his right shoulder. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima have taken their distance however, to divest themselves of the weapons they were carrying. They exchange a few words with a dark-haired, blue-eyed young man, his gaze expressionless.

The campus is as huge as he remembers it, they have parked near the entrance on the left, where a few meters separate them from a huge enclosure that he recognizes as the gymnasium. Ahead the huge fountain that no longer runs water, and several marble tables scattered around, few occupied by faces that he does not recognize but that have their attention back on him.

"Hi. My name is Takeda Ittetsu, it's a pleasure to meet you. I am the doctor of the boarding school… Oikawa-kun, Ushijima-kun? I'm very sorry for what you've been through today, I'm here to accompany you in the ceremony. I imagine you are both more than exhausted, but I will prepare the space right now, if you wish to follow me… Tendou-kun, could you give me a hand here?"

Both of them nod, the kindness of the no-longer-so-stranger a sort of caress to their mist-numbed minds. Oikawa's attention is drawn to the boy previously addressed by Takeda. He is a tall, languid young man with bright red hair, his locks drooping and tousled, sitting on the marble table next to another young man (though the latter is indeed using the benches accordingly). Both have a lit cigar in their mouths and the same relaxed expression. Strange, in part, considering that Tendou seems to quickly read the situation for which his help is required.

He quickly shows his readiness by stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray beside him. Soon the four of them are taking the direction that, if he remembers correctly, will allow them to go around the dormitory building.

"Tooru?"

The call stops only him, as the others continue on their way. When he turns around, he finds a familiar face staring at him in astonishment.

"Oikawa…?"

A new voice comes from his right. Standing between the bodies of Tetsurou and Koutarou, with the same shocked expression he's been getting for the past two hours, is Kenma. His own gaze alternates between the taller young men grinning like the pair of jerks they are, and from them to Kenma, and from Kenma to... Daichi, the first one to call him. He feels his throat dry when he notices that the latter is about to speak.

"Jesus, I don't-..."

"Tooru...?"

The trickle of voice with which he is called this time comes from behind his back. As he turns around, his heart seems to shatter, for he is met with the image of a Koushi whose eyes express everything: he is completely snatched off his axis. Next to him, Hajime doesn't seem to believe what he sees either. The shock spreads to everyone present as soon as Sugawara drops what he had been carrying, to rush in his direction. With open arms Oikawa receives the impact of their bodies, immediately adjusting to the lower one in a smothering embrace. Koushi's tears stain the fabric of his clothes at shoulder level, while his own soak back onto the other's shoulder.

"You sneaky rat…! Shit…!"

The laughter is hindered by the loud crying the two friends share, inevitably drawing the attention of those around them who are oblivious to what this reunion really entails. Sawamura slowly joins in, resting his right hand on the crown of Tooru's head to let him know he's there too. Their gazes meet and the crying increases from the immediate warmth he recognizes in Daichi's dark brown eyes. Koushi moves a few inches away from the shelter he had made in his shoulder to see him as well, though he does not loosen the embrace around him nor Oikawa the firm grip on his waist.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!! Jesus christ…"

And again to his neck. Tooru looks in the direction of the three on his left as well, they are still standing near the van, the shocked expression wiped off Kenma's face as he talks to Kuroo. He barely manages to hear what they say, but it's something between the lines of "we saved their ass" and "they were cornered in a horde near building five."

He feels him, too. As if burning his entire body with his simple gaze, Iwaizumi. And when he finally turns to him, when he can finally recognize him as his former friend, his first love, his former partner, and as the twenty-three-year-old man he is now, inconsistently and hastily, sensing his best friend's embrace tighten around him some more… Oikawa is absolutely certain that his feelings for Iwaizumi Hajime have not changed at all in the course of these past few years, and that they never will.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


The people who gather to mourn Ushijima Kenjirou are various, some completely unknown to Oikawa, but somehow it's comforting. Deep down he's sure Wakatoshi feels the same way about it; it's the first completely human act they've had since the beginning of it all. They had never had time to pray, to mourn those they lost along the way, their families or acquaintances. It had always been just the three of them, surviving.

Behind the dormitory building they have located the cemetery. There are several graves, all tended with some kind of remembrance of the deceased. They have dug one for Kenjirou, and Tendou, Oikawa and Wakatoshi have finished burying him. Doctor Takeda shares a few words, and the ceremony ends with a few minutes of silence. Gradually the cemetery clears, a few people hold their company until they decide it is best to allow Wakatoshi privacy.

When only the two of them are left, the separation between their bodies is shortened by Oikawa's initiative, who timidly takes one of the taller one's hands. The grip is firm, present, lets them know that they have each other. Once again he rests the side of his head on the shoulder of his partner, whom he gradually feels begin to tremble.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Daichi has given them some instructions regarding a quick procedure that, as he explains, is safer for them to take since they have just arrived. First they go to the nursing room, where Takeda tends first to Ushijima and then to Oikawa. It’s quick, cleans up and treats a cut he's gotten at some point over his right eyebrow (most likely from the slamming of the shed door), and in between he lets vague polite questions slip in that, undoubtedly, help Oikawa relax the tension he's been unconsciously building up throughout his body.  _ He is in a safe place. _

When he comes out of the infirmary, he finds himself face to face with Koushi, who has been waiting for him. The smile settles  _ at the same time _ on their faces, they exhale  _ at the same time _ the same snort, and then laugh. They also set off  _ together _ , as if the passage of time and lack of communication had not made a single scratch on their connection.

“Daichi told me to choose your room myself from the ones that are free, the one I wanted for you is taken… But I'm sure you still won't mind taking one on the third floor. I've left your backpack there.”

“Thank you, Koushi…”

Silence falls, not uncomfortably, but densely. Both rush to correct their attitudes, speaking  _ at the same time _ .

“I'm sorry, I, this is all-... it's a little overwhelming…”

“Sorry, fuck, you must have your head somewhere else…”

Finding themselves in an identical condition initially leaves them in silence, one that they break with awkward laughter after exchanging complicit glances. It is a relief.

He had met Sugawara Koushi at the age of fifteen, when they became classmates at this same boarding school through which they now walk side by side, since then their bond has been full of silent complicity. They have sustained and supported each other in the craziest moments of their youth, as well as in the most difficult ones, and they have learned to read each other, to understand each other without even needing to speak.

Sugawara was not the only one. Sawamura, Kuroo, Bokuto and Iwaizumi were part of the circle of classmates who soon became good, no, his best friends. They shared the same classes, were part of the same team in the volleyball club, so he has many memories of the connection he held for years with them. The exhaustive workouts they underwent, but also the crazy talks during the evenings in the common room, before the eleven o'clock bell announced the time to go back to their rooms, the escapades to the terrace to test substances, the awkward jokes in the mornings for whoever overslept. The weekends they shared even when each went back to see their families. Kozume Kenma, Tetsurou's neighbor, had gradually joined the small circle of friends. Friendship had grown between them.

Between him and Hajime more than anything else. In the form of provocative teasing and jabs in response, concern and care, in the form of ridiculous notes in shared rooms. Sometime where crazy storms made them create a blanket fort and sleep together. Somewhere along the line, without being able to do anything real about it, their breaths began to falter every time their hands brushed together. At some point, the hugs began to include kisses on the cheeks. At some point, the provocations stopped being about possible future girlfriends and started being about Iwaizumi's arms or Oikawa's waist. The friendship had grown to overflow between their mouths one afternoon after the end of club activities, and during the last year of high school, it had grown to stabilize into a love relationship.

But that had been all before his parents discovered them. Oikawa, a hardened homosexual, with the most reserved and homophobic parents in all of Japan. The arguments were loud and violent, and before he could do anything about it Tooru was flying straight to a new boarding school in England to finish his studies and continue his family's line of work.

"I know it's crazy right now, you must have too much to think about, but… Don't lock yourself in here. Come find me anytime and let's talk. Let's talk it all out when you're ready."

Koushi interrupts the silence again when they are inside the room, then shows him the towel he has left on the mattress for him. Oikawa thanks him before watching him leave, knowing that they are both dying to spend hours together but even so, first he needs to be alone. To understand what all the day has been about.

The first thing he does without realizing is to check his backpack to make sure he has all his belongings with him… A habit he has ended up picking up because of the very reality in which he lives. After confirming that nothing is indeed missing, he exhales a regretful sigh: why would he be missing anything in the first place? Then, the thought that Kenjirou's backpack might have been left in Wakatoshi's room throws a huge weight on his shoulders, and as soon as he feels his eyes burning again from the tears that threaten to come out, Oikawa stands up with a change of clothes in his hands. He exaggeratedly clenches the towel with his fingers and flees from the solitude of his room straight to the second floor, where the bathrooms are located.

_ A shower, a shower, a shower. _

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Nishinoya is really used to it, but it never ceases to be a cumbersome job to clean the wounds Thunder leaves on his shoulders when circumstances don't go in his favor. It is a gentle bird but its grip is firm, and that morning it had landed unexpectedly on his right shoulder twice, taking him by surprise. The thin fabric of his clothing had not protected him well, when they failed to coordinate so that it stopped its flight on his always well-covered arm… Those were the consequences.

On this occasion the nursing room was empty, apparently everyone a little busier as lunchtime approached, and as he hadn't passed any of the ward attendants on his way either, he had decided to lock himself in alone to clean the wound. It was no big deal anyway, he was a slender, lithe young man, he just needed some gauze and…

"Nishinoya?"

He recognizes the voice immediately, so he barely turns his face in the direction of the open door, where he meets the tall man carrying a couple of books in his hands.

"Oh, Asahi-san, hello!"

"Have you been hurt?" The concern is palpable in the adult, who wanders into the room to check for damage.

“Yes, it's fine actually. Thunder landed on my shoulder twice while I wasn't expecting him, since I was moving the collision was abrupt and he clung on more than he should have. It happens sometimes…”

"You didn't find anyone from the nursing line?"

"Sometimes you ask very obvious questions, Asahi-san." The taller of the two feels the heat coming to his cheeks, which gets worse after Nishinoya bursts out in a thunderous laugh. "I'm fine! I can take care of them, really."

"Let me help you."

It’s not the first time they are alone in the same room, but the atmosphere that’s created is always the same: dense, silent while they meditate on what to say and what not to say. Asahi is one of the teachers at the boarding school who is still there, he is part of the surveillance line and by that time his first shift is over, which explains why they had met.

The man is tall and stout, wearing his facial hair short but his hair a bit long, brown, often tied in a half updo. His hands are large, his appearance formal, and despite all this he must be the gentlest person roaming among them. His voice has an extremely patient tone to it, probably from being used to addressing people younger than him, but it is his brown eyes that give away his docile nature.

In comparison, Nishinoya is quite the opposite: young, energetic, explosive, sometimes selfish, sometimes too imperative. Considerably shorter, with the mad spark of mischief and confidence lighting up his face. The pair had met prior to the outburst on a few occasions: Nishinoya was good friends with Lev whose home he often visited. Coincidentally Asahi was good friends with Lev's older brother Aone. And he was also engaged to his sister Alisa.

Asahi, who was sitting next to him to face the injured area, shrugs in reaction to the hiss that the shorter one lets out at the cold sensation of the cream that he spreads on the now clean wound. He whispers an apology as he reaches down to grab a packet of gauze from a nearby drawer. Nishinoya's hands stop his task and inevitably their gazes meet.

“Ah, Asahi-san, no, that's a waste. We have to save these materials for more important things…”

"A wound in contact with clothing is important. Thunder dug his fingernails pretty deep in some parts."

"I think it's enough with the ointment."

"Don't complain so much, Nishinoya. Let me take care of you." And when the grip softens and the accelerated pounding of their hearts deafens them, Asahi quickly adds. "The wound, I mean, let me finish the job."

His hands are free for him to continue with the treatment. He places the gauze carefully and secures it to the skin with tape. He can feel that the young man is looking at him, burning him rather, piercing him and piercing deep into his face with those wide eyes of his.

"Good. It's read-..." Because he doesn't see it coming, Asahi stands as if petrified in place when Nishinoya gently pulls the strap holding his hair in place, untying it until it falls, silky, over his head. He feels like he can barely breathe. "Nishinoya…?"

"I remember you better when you don't have it strapped on."

The response of his body is immediate: the palms of his hands begin to itch and sweat unbearably, he has a lump in his throat, heat in his belly, his heartbeat is racing, making it difficult to hear since he feels it in his ears. He feels terrified at the idea of raising his face, because he knows that what he will find will leave him between a rock and a hard place.

The younger one no longer waits for an answer, Asahi knows that he has taken too long to confront him, for he now feels both palms on his shoulders pushing him with momentum until his chair and all of him are cornered against the stretcher behind him. His hands rise awkwardly in response, avoiding touching any part of Yuu’s body, which instead takes place sitting in his lap.

“Nishinoya, Nishinoya, stop, wait…”

"How long do I have to wait? Can you do it? I don't want to."

“I…”

"Look at me."

He struggles, but finally does it. The fire ignites the younger man's face and burns him in the process.

It was not the first time they had found themselves in such a situation. The differences between the two had led them to coincide more than expected, and their bond had grown stronger with the passing of time and living together at the boarding school. Without being able to control it at some point the intensity had gotten out of hand, Nishinoya had a clear interest in the older man and Asahi…  _ Asahi was engaged. _

"We can't do this, it's not right, you know that."

"I don't care. I love you, Asahi-san."

“You should care, I care, this is complicated, you understand, I know that…”

"It's complicated because you're a fucking coward."

"I am committed, Nishinoya." Those words seem to flip a switch of anger in the younger man, because his voice rises a bit in response.

"Then leave it! You can drop it, you've never been obliged to… In circumstances like these what weight does an engagement carry?"

Silence falls heavily between the two men, he feels the pressure and subtle trembling in Yuu's hands, reaching down to his lower lip.  _ Please don't cry _ . They hold each other's gazes for a few moments longer, until he breaks contact again. Nishinoya has a very distinct scent that makes him dizzy, always floods him with memories, fills his body with the desire to hold him closer, to squeeze him in his arms, to enjoy the difference between their sizes once more. None of that should be going through his mind. He lets out a heavy, drawn out sigh that helps him rather clear his mind. He can't fall, not again.

"For you to say something like that just shows your immaturity, Nishinoya. You're too young to understand."

"Then help me understand! I love you, and you love me back. Why does what was before all this blew up, before we met, carry so much weight? Do you even think about your fiancée?" When Asahi frowns, Yuu knows he's gone too far with his words.

"Nishinoya."

“S-sorry…”

"Can you step aside, please?"

"You talk as if you are disgusted by this, but you have never once said that what happened that night was a mistake."

"You're exceeding all limits right now."

A pair of voices approaching down the hallway alert them, leading them to make a mutual decision to quickly step aside. Asahi stands up and starts to throw away the supplements he used to clean the shorter one's wound, while Nishinoya grabs his shirt. He still doesn't reach to put it on when he speaks again, his voice shaking low with bubbling anger and frustration.

"There's no time at this point to please others. You're a coward, Asahi-san."

Three figures arrive at the doorway, Takeda accompanied by a dark-haired woman with glasses, and a tall albino man, who looks at them with noticeable surprise and curiosity.

"Oh, boys, hi-"

Takeda is interrupted by the angry exit of Nishinoya, who slips past their bodies into the hallway, crestfallen. The last thing they see is him putting on his shirt before turning the corner to the stairs. Asahi sends pleading glances toward the newcomers, who wordlessly interpret it as "one more tantrum from Nishinoya."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Oikawa loses track of time while underwater. Although the first cold impact had been quite unbalancing, as the minutes pass the brown-haired finds all the comfort he had been needing in the constant flow, which seems to take everything with it. He cleans his body, in the process discovering scars he had not been able to see before, and whose previous wounds he does not remember when they were made. Sugawara had lent him some items for his personal care, so at the end of the general grooming he manages to remove the hair that had begun to grow on his face. The cool sensation numbs his mind for a few minutes, until he has finished. And when he finishes, and the faucet closes, and it is absolutely silent… He hears it again. He hears Kenjirou's voice calling for help, Wakatoshi's shouting that he would end his brother's life, his own agreeing to open the damn shed. This time, no attempt to wipe away the tears is enough to stem the maddening tide that covers her cheeks in the blink of an eye.

Twenty minutes later he is coming out of the locker room with the thick towel ruffling his hair, when someone crosses the threshold and bumps into his body. Apologies come from both sides until they recognize each other.

“Iwa-chan…”

"Oikawa."

Silence immediately falls between the two men, who exchange a couple more glances before hurriedly looking away. Oikawa feels his heart come back to life just by his presence. They are alone for the first time in  _ five years and three months _ . And Hajime has changed. His body has grown- well, it's the norm, his own has too. Their gazes meet a second time and he finds himself desperately passing saliva, trying at all costs to get rid of the lump that has formed in his throat. There are many things he wants to say and they are all mixed together. He wants to ask, he wants to apologize, he wants to touch him, he wants to hear his voice… Damn, he  _ needs _ to hear his voice.

"I'm so sorry about the boy."

It takes Oikawa little time to decipher his words. Iwaizumi seems to look at him quite intently, his face is probably swollen from crying. He immediately bites his tongue to swallow the new wave of crying that threatens to hit him.

“Thank you…”

Silence, once again. They both seem to be searching at the same time for what to say to each other. For his part he is really terrified of ruining it, he doesn't know what Hajime thinks about him, about his leaving, about his return and his sudden appearance. Oikawa feels a sincere and deep happiness to discover him  _ alive _ . Even if it was to receive a possible insult, he needed to keep listening to him.

"Are you alone?" This time it takes him longer to understand what he means, so Iwaizumi puts more emphasis as he continues, though his voice sounds lower as well. "Was it just the three of you?"

_ Oh. _

"Yes… It was Wakatoshi-san, Kenjirou-kun and I, alone, from the beginning."

"I see."

"And… you?" Iwaizumi holds his gaze for a few moments longer, before turning to anywhere to the left. The expression is… painful.

"It's me and Tobio, nothing else."

Tooru had never been around people smaller than him, but he was always very much cared for and pampered in his group of friends. The image he encountered when his friends looked after him was the same one he saw countless times in Iwaizumi for his younger siblings and mother. Being the eldest of the three in a household where the father figure was absent, he had taken on the role as best he could, and without much complaint really. Iwaizumi loved his family more than anything else in the world. He loved his two younger brothers, Akira and Tobio, with whom he suddenly recalled vying for his then-partner's attention countless times. Iwaizumi loved his younger brothers and his mother, a sweet woman like no other, patient, humble. Oikawa feels the lump in his throat increase with the new information and the hint of pain he reads in the eyes of the shorter one.

It is normal. It is normal in the reality they live in. He has lost his parents, everyone has lost someone, it's completely normal and to be expected. But it never stops hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks if you made it this far. ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
> 
> clarifications:  
> -Takeda Ittetsu is 29 years old.  
> -Tendou Satori is 22 years old.  
> -Kozume Kenma is 21 years old, as well as Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Nishinoya. Lev Haiba is part of this group, but according to the time in which the story is set, he is still 20.  
> -Sawamura Daichi, Sugawara Koushi and Iwaizumi Hajime are the same age as Oikawa, Kuroo and Bokuto, 23.  
> -Azumane Asahi and Shimizu Kiyoko are 25 years old.  
> -Lev, Alisa (24) and Aone (28) are siblings.  
> -Tobio and Shouyou are Hajime and Koutarou's little brothers respectively, both are 15 years old. Their full names are Iwaizumi Tobio, and Bokuto Shouyou.... im so sorry about this. ʘ‿ʘ  
> -Akira (Kunimi) was Tobio and Hajime's younger brother, 12 years old.
> 
> that's all for this chapter. you help me a lot by leaving kudos, sharing or commenting. until the next one! ♡


	3. Rope at the ankle.

His eyelids are heavy as hell when he tries to open them upon waking. The room is completely dark, letting him know it's early morning still. Oikawa is truly disoriented as what he finds when he looks up is a bunk bed and not a distant, unkempt ceiling, as he had become accustomed to. Initially, there are no recognizable smells either, the dust, the dampness, the abandonment. But he does smell vanilla incense, it is the one Sugawara had lit the previous evening for him as a welcoming gesture. For a few moments all he has in his mind is the doubt of where he would have gotten them. Sugawara used to smell of vanilla so not much surprises him, he vaguely remembers his high school years and the characteristic aroma sneaking into him with every visit to the shorter one's room, that sweetish scent now filling his pits.

He realizes twenty minutes and a million tosses and turns later that he is no longer going to be able to fall asleep, so he decides instead to move out from under the covers. First he sits on the edge of the mattress, stretches his limbs, looks without really seeing any point ahead, and realizes that  _ for the first time in three months _ , his body is not sore from sleeping in bad positions or on hard surfaces, like the floor of some abandoned house used to be.

His footsteps are silent as he walks down the main stairs of the building. He had wandered a bit in his room until he decided it would be best to take a short walk to clear his mind. He crosses the second floor (where the bathrooms are located) with noticeable haste, as this one had never looked good to him. Then he reaches the common room on the first floor. He is astonished to find it subtly lit by the lingering fire of a single candle, placed on a coffee table next to a sofa. He has no trouble identifying the sturdy figure of the person occupying the place closest to the light source, perhaps that's why he doesn't hesitate to close the distance to sit next to him.

"Did you get any sleep?" he asks in a whisper, fixing the side of Wakatoshi's face with an almost brotherly look. This one makes their eyes meet a few seconds later, turning slowly in his direction.

"Enough."

Oikawa's shoulders feel heavy as soon as he notices the swelling of the older man's eyelids. He decides to set aside all the shyness and formality with which they have handled themselves for the past few months and, pushing away the lack of confidence, Tooru moves a little closer to him until he manages to snuggle against his side. They remain that way for a considerable time until Ushijima exhales an awkward, brittle whisper.

"As an older brother, one hopes to be the first to leave." Still with his head resting on the taller one's shoulder, Oikawa turns his face heavily to sink it carefully into the area. The way he squeezes helps him hold back tears. "It should have been me."

"We can't do anything against the fact that it wasn't… Against the fact that I made every bad decision possible. It should have been me, or it should have been you.  _ But it was him _ … Fuck, it was him."

_ Don't carry it alone, blame me too. Let's do it together. _

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


His eyes open again a couple of hours later when he senses movement around him. He vaguely remembers waking up in the early morning, his meeting and last conversation with Wakatoshi, the crying they had shared for extended minutes until yielding to the arms of Morpheus.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Lethargic, Oikawa searches for the bearer of the voice until he finds him a short distance from the couch, a contracted figure with feline features that he immediately recognizes. In response he breaks away from Ushijima's body, who seems to have finally given in to the exhaustion of the previous day. There is a little more light coming in through the wide windows of the common room.

“H-hey…” Wow, his voice is a mess. To his left Oikawa sees a couple of food packages.

"I've left them for you, neither of you have had a bite since you arrived, you slept a lot so you must be hungry. It's from what was in your bags anyway…”

The brown-haired man watches silently as the young blond takes it upon himself to slip a second blanket over Wakatoshi's shoulders to shelter him from the cold, then takes the saucer with the already extinguished candle.

"Thank you, Kenma."

They exchange complicit glances and gentle smiles. Kozume is part of the small group of people who know him from before, as Kuroo's former neighbor who had ended up moving closer to share the same circle of friends. It's been a while, and he's sure that because of his unsocial nature, the younger boy must be a bit more uncomfortable with his presence than the others, but he's not reluctant. Just… a little unaccustomed. He had grown up well, despite having the same listless look that reminds him of him. Blonde suits him beautifully, even with his (inevitably) unretouched roots.

"It's about seven in the morning so my watch starts soon. There will start to be more movement around here, you should go to your rooms if you really want to rest." He speaks to him in murmurs, but with the quiet surrounding them it's not that difficult to hear him. Oikawa nods in thanks before answering.

"I'll wake him up in a moment, thank you."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Kenma is the type of person who manages to look completely disinterested while carrying a sniper rifle slung over his shoulder. The reality is that he is more interested in the object in his hands: a pudding he has stolen from the kitchen to try as breakfast. He's aware that he'll probably be scolded later, considering he didn't wait for the handout… but he's willing to take the consequences. That's all that's on his mind as he climbs the stairs they've built for watchtower one.

The architecture of the boarding school is notable mainly for its straight lines, so inevitably the campus grounds form a huge fenced rectangle. For the first few weeks they worked to protect the fences around them, with the help of some people who were no longer among them, either because they had left for the  _ clean island _ or... well, because they had departed. Everything was walled off with thick wooden or metal panels, and doors removed from some classrooms. All in all the campus was really vast and the main building (where classes were formerly held) was completely taken over by zombies, so it had been no easy task.  _ Never an easy task _ . Once they were able to stabilize the overall situation on the grounds they concentrated on building guard posts, what they now call  _ towers _ . The idea that Kozume had brought was seconded by Shimizu, so the plans included high platform walkways that follow the continuity of the fences, both all along the front and back fringes. These posts have since allowed them to safely monitor most of the terrain around them, considering also that they are surrounded by a lush forest. It helps them not only to visualize and eliminate lone walkers in time before they accumulate, but also to inspect and receive any arrivals.

In total there are three towers that are located at the corners of the campus (the gym occupies the entire front space on the left). The  _ surveillance line _ consists of six pairs that are divided to take care of these towers, taking shifts of approximately four hours, although nothing is totally strict. The truth is that the first month was the most complicated, and now they have traps scattered around that do the majority of the work, but even so they usually start at seven in the morning and finish at eleven at night (sometimes the latter schedule is extended for those who prefer to make sure everything will be quiet for the rest of the night).

Kozume Kenma and Iwaizumi Tobio, both skilled marksmen, work the first shift in the first tower at the front of the campus. Sharing the same tower on the second shift are Suna Rintarou and Shimizu Kiyoko, equally avid at the task. Going to the back of the campus are two towers, the second being manned by the duo of Bokuto Shouyou and Haiba Lev, as well as the pair of Miya twins. Finally, tower number three is taken care of by teachers Azumane Asahi and Haiba Aone on the first shift, until then Goshiki had been taking care of the second shift by himself. He is never quite alone. In the absence of a constant threat, they are free to rest intermittently, or talk to those nearby at a moment's notice.

To be honest, Kenma does prefer to spend that time alone. He likes the quiet that the front tower affords him, as he usually takes the hallway and his partner Tobio the entire corner, separated by the grilled door at the entrance. Although it may not seem like it, the hours pass quickly that way.

"Good morning."

As he finishes climbing, he hears the greeting coming from a very delicate voice, a few meters in front of him. It takes him a little by surprise, although the feeling does not show on his face.

"Good morning." During the short pause that ensues the pair exchange glances. "Trouble sleeping again?"

"Mhm-hm."

Kozume resumes his walk in the direction of the empty chair waiting for him next to the taller boy's body, also knowing that he’s looking back at him, attentive and interested. It only takes him a quick glance around to know that he had not been working on keeping watch before his arrival. Akaashi Keiji has been waiting for him. He has gone up exactly the hallway he occupies, knowing he would arrive first, to keep him company. It's not the first time something like that has happened, but the feeling of satisfaction is already comfortably settled in his chest by the time he takes his seat. He also feels it in his fingertips, in the foot that gently taps the floor.

Kenma curses him mentally as he looks at him more closely. It's only for a short time, but… what's his secret to look this attractive so early in the morning? Even with a frazzled countenance and dark bags under his eyes from lack of rest, Akaashi manages to look stupidly and ethereally beautiful.

Surprisingly both of them look equally calm, but it is the older one who breaks the silence.

"You're not allowed to take that, are you?" His question is playful, they often exchange comments like that, somehow it has become their way of breaking the ice.

"I never have." Keiji laughs lazily and the sound creeps into his ears until it rubs off on him, though Kenma doesn't let his laughter out. Instead he concentrates on opening the package containing his favorite dessert. "Your job as a watchman is lousy, Akaashi-san."

"I was watching."

"You don't even bring a gun with you, how were you planning to take care of any zombies that might show up?"

"And you don't waste bullets using that one? Maybe it would have been better to have a bow, you could easily retrieve the arrows later."

"Just say you were hoping it was Kuro and not me." They share playful laughter for a few short moments, until gradually it dissolves completely. Kenma tastes his pudding and exhales with pleasure.

"No."

"No?"

"I wouldn't want it to be Kuroo-san."

Words are not necessary after that comment. When the stillness returns they both seek the answers they need in each other's gaze, and they hold each other in that way for a few more moments, certain that they share the same line of thought. It has been that way for some time now. In the background everything bubbles, everything moves, but the surface is quiet, careful.

Kenma is the first to look away, his face ducking to concentrate on plunging his spoon into the dessert to extract another portion, but not for himself this time. He offers it to Akaashi gingerly, their gazes meeting back. He can notice the exact moment when the taller one's eyes, usually dull, light up with a special spark. And while he doesn't quite understand it, he is more than pleased. Keiji leans in his direction a few moments later, mouth ajar to accept his invitation. And he tries it, under Kozume's scrutiny.

"Mhhm… It's good."

"It's fantastic."

His unwavering judgment entertains Akaashi, who does not contradict him either before returning to his place or afterwards. They savor the snack in silence, prolonging the comfortable breakfast of that morning for a few more minutes. In the course of time, however, Kenma perceives how little by little restlessness settles in the other, who shifts several times in his seat, subtly exchanging the crossing of his legs, stretching the folds of his clothes, squeezing his hands together. He recognizes that attitude, so he doesn't say anything to her. He prefers to wait for him to decide to blurt out whatever was going through his mind. Of course, in case this went on too long, he would always come to ask. Luckily it doesn't take much longer when Akaashi is finally speaking.

"Bokuto-san?"

"Peacefully asleep, like a log. His snoring is the only thing that lets me know he's still breathing."

As if he had just finished his pre-work break, Kozume stands up as he hears the ( _ adorable _ ) laughter of his companion. It takes him a single movement of his body to stop in front of Keiji, and his heart skips a beat when he sees from above how deafeningly close the latter’s face has come to his abdomen. Anyone would instinctively recoil, but instead Akaashi just straightens up and looks up searching for answers. And meanwhile, Kenma plunges the spoon one last time to scoop up the remaining pudding.

With his same stealth he brings the dessert to her mouth which, without reproach, waits ajar. Kenma slips it in and Akaashi closes his lips around the cold material, once again without immediately pulling back as he should. Instead the young men look at each other, stare at each other a little, a little longer, and smile. Keiji finally eats, giving Kozume the freedom to remove the spoon from his mouth. Before it is abandoned next to the empty pot, the blond dips it back into his own mouth to finish cleaning it. Satisfied with the image of the subtly blushing in Akaashi’s face, Kenma turns to get serious about his guarding duties once and for all. He could spend hours like this next to the taller guy.

Tobio appears a few moments later, climbing the stairs on the other side of the entrance gate. He greets them politely, completely overlooking the energy that has built up between the pair. He immediately sets about analyzing the terrain in an unflappable manner. He is dedicated to his task, clinging to his choice of weapon: a crossbow with telescopic sight. Behind his back, Akaashi exhales an amused snort that playfully irritates Kenma.

"Just as industrious as usual." Keiji whispers to him, but halfway through the last word his gaze follows the same course as the blond's. They both notice once again the weapon Kozume has chosen.

"You're right, I'm a bad watcher too."

"I'll carry this for you, Kozume-san." Akaashi tells him with joy in his voice, as he stands up. He holds the pot and spoon in his hands. Kenma affirms the rifle and focuses his attention on the field ahead of him, making use of the telescopic sight. Before letting go, he whispers to him.

"Call me Kenma. By the way… I left my cigarettes in Koutarou's room, could you go get them for me? I'll die if I wait until he wakes up and notices."

The lack of response that lingers between the two forces the blond to turn around looking for some sign that he had been heard. Akaashi is at the top of the stairs, looking back at him, warmth in his expression and crimson rising to his cheeks. Without needing to hear it directly from him, Kenma knows everything that is going through his mind: he knows  _ what _ it implies to have asked him to call him by name, and he also knows  _ what _ moves between them to give his full consent to send Keiji to the room of his boyfriend, Bokuto Koutarou, who sleeps naked and wakes up every time someone opens the door.

"Sure, Kenma. I'll bring them right over."

"Mhm-hm. It's okay, take your time."

  
  
  


…

  
  


“Oh, ah, h-hey…”

Oikawa's voice that attempts to serve as a greeting escapes rather sharper (than he could ever hope or admit) as soon as he sees Iwaizumi appear coming down the main stairs. They meet themselves at a considerable distance, exchanging hesitant glances, Hajime's alternating between what Oikawa is eating, and the man still resting next to him.

"W-what about the night...?"

_ Really, Oikawa, really? _ That's what he reads in Iwaizumi's expression, who is determined to ignore him and continues on his way into the kitchen’s direction Despite the pathetic failure, Tooru feels that he is brutally devoured by the desperate need to continue speaking to him, and before he thinks it through the words are escaping from his mouth, in a regulated tone as he still does not wish to wake Wakatoshi.

"Do you do surveillance rounds as well?"

"Not really."

But Tooru sees his outfit: Iwaizumi is dressed in a head-to-toe black, tactical vest over his turtleneck shirt, a knife sheathed in a belt on his right thigh, on the left rests an axe and, hanging from one of his shoulders, a bow. He needs to be applauded, but in recognition of the groan he just endured.

Was he doing arm training? He sees him leave the kitchen shortly after and forces himself to sit up straighter, ends up with his lower lip clenched between his teeth.

"What?" Iwaizumi uses a brusque tone, but Oikawa considers it quite normal, considering that he is not taking his eyes off him.

“Nothing…” There is a hint of annoyance in Iwaizumi's gesture, who, after taking a drink from the bottle in his hands, resumes speaking.

"We have traps set around to stop the more solitary ones, there aren't many people awake now so I'll go take care of clearing them."

For brief seconds of silence, Tooru looks at him as if he were speaking to him in another language. Both look tense, not quite reading the other's expression. Finally, Hajime clicks his tongue and resumes his pace towards the entrance, and only then the taller one reacts.

"I-I'll go with you!"

"No." Blame Oikawa's sudden loud voice, Wakatoshi stirs in his seat, beginning to half-open his eyes. By this time Iwaizumi is already at the door, so Tooru gives an awkward smile to the man beside him as he stands up and drops the blanket haphazardly back into its now empty place. Ushijima looks noticeably disoriented by the brown man's flight, but doesn't ask.

"Wait for me!"

"I said no."

"It's dangerous if you go alone."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Although doubt gnaws at him, between waking him up to ask permission when he has had an exhausting previous day, or not doing so and barging into the privacy of his room, Akaashi goes for the possibility that the first option would have no effect. With that shaky conviction he knocks softly on the door, gentle taps of his knuckles. Three times, but no one answers.

"Bokuto-san?"

Nothing. Without realizing it, he becomes a victim of his own nervousness, and while he over analyzes the most varied possibilities of dealing with the matter, he begins to bite the inside of his lower lip. He sighs heavily as he places both trembling hands on the doorknob. _ I’m here just so I can take the cigars to Kenma, I promised him _ . He pushes and peeks his head out first of all, noticing the subtle gloom of Bokuto's room, who still has the thick curtains closed. It's early and he really doesn't want to wake up the older guy, whom he identifies a few meters away completely entangled in the sheets.

“Excuse me…”

The whisper seems to be more to himself, to convince himself that he is not doing anything wrong by barging into his privacy. He moves finally towards the nightstand in the hope that the pack of cigarettes and the lighter were there, but to his surprise they are not. On the occasions when he has been able to share hours within those four walls in the company of the (sleeping) owner and his partner, he has noticed that Kenma has the habit of leaving his belongings on that piece of furniture, near the ashtray. Uneasy, he quickly scans the place with his eyes and then crouches down next to the bed, perhaps they would have fallen. It is another possibility that he considers, because from what he notices around him, the pair has had a busy night. But once again, he does not find what he is looking for at first glance.

More frustrated than at the start, Akaashi kneels down again with the intention of taking a better look around, to finish making sure that the floor is not the place to look. There are some clothes scattered around, perhaps in pockets?

Suddenly, the skin on the back of his neck bristles with the sensation of being watched, a suspicion he confirms as soon as he turns his face to the right and finds himself face to face with a fully awake Bokuto, looking back at him. Initially he is startled, the older man's large eyes look at him intently, and his expression is quite serious compared to his usual animosity. Even so he manages well to swallow both the gasp, and the flinch.

"Akaashi." A few seconds later the expression softens, and Koutarou greets him with a sincere smile, voice hoarse and sleepy.  _ He looks like a puppy _ .

"Answer when I knock on the door, Bokuto-san."

His scolding doesn't really do any good, nor do his attempts to put distance when he stands up, as he is immediately grabbed and pulled to fall on the bed. When Akaashi falls to his side, the sheets slip a little lower than they should, revealing naked skin, but the situation doesn't seem to bother Koutarou at all, who instead just squeezes him more firmly in his arms.

"Have you come to sleep with me? Stay."

"Kenma forgot his cigarettes and asked me to get them for him, but I don't see them around… do you know where he might have left them?"

"Oh? But I saw him grabbing them earlier."

The young men exchange silent glances for a few seconds, each processing the situation in his own time. Akaashi can see how little by little the emotion takes over the older one, and even though the lighting is dim in the room, it is not difficult to see how he radiates his own light. The smile is wide on Bokuto's face, a clear threat to the heart of the young man who still finds himself stupefied. He does not quite differentiate his own feelings: is he irritated by Kenma's dirty play, or is he deeply grateful for the early company of Bokuto who, under the sheets, is naked? The bedroom still has the remnants of what has been an eventful night for the couple, he has confirmed this as soon as he fell into the older man's arms and noticed the marks on his torso and neck. Clearly there are scents that he is getting to know for the first time, but at the same time they are not entirely alien to him, much less uncomfortable. Akaashi never feels uncomfortable in the middle of the pair. But he is irritated by the embarrassment he feels spreading throughout his body, as soon as he realizes that Kenma has read him perfectly. He has set a dirty trap to push him, nicely, right into the intimacy of their relationship. And all three of them, both the couple and Akaashi, know what all this implies. Kenma inviting him, Bokuto welcoming him, the remains, the smell of sex, the privacy. Keiji passes saliva, overwhelmed with the nakedness and warmth of the taller one's body. The embrace tightens a little more.

"Sorry for waking you up."

"Kenma sent you with me, isn't that romantic? He's the best boyfriend in the universe.  _ Stay, stay, stay, stay. _ ”

“Yes he is, Bokuto-san…”

He does not have the strength it takes to put distance between their bodies, nor the desire to do so. A few moments later he is yielding to his request, settling in better at his side after shedding his footwear (whose fall to the floor is thunderous and annoying in the stillness of the room). Bokuto laughs, somewhere between sleepy and stupidly happy, at the same time sticking to the wall to give away more space on his bed… It's a noisy invitation.

Bokuto had found Akaashi at the beginning of the second month, wandering hungrily between buildings, fleeing from the nearest horde. He was all alone, and his expression was exactly that of someone who has lost absolutely everything in front of his eyes. Koutarou had had to chase after him, as Akaashi seemed to think he would be killed by anything that moved and wasn't himself. Akaashi remembers the exact moment he found himself cornered under a desk, with three walkers approaching, maw covered in saliva and brains looking for more. He remembers the exact feeling of giving up, of believing that would be the end of him. And he also remembers the deafening gunshot that killed the first zombie. The knife sliding across the floor until it reached his feet and the firm voice shouting in his direction.

**_"Fight!"_ **

**_"Are you here? I need you here right now."_ **

**_"Let's get this over with together."_ **

" _ Stay _ ." Koutarou repeats to him after a few seconds. If there's one thing Akaashi finds appealing about the older man, it's how the awakening compromises his vivid voice, tarnishes it with raspiness.

"I'm here, Bokuto-san." He whispers back, letting himself be squeezed between the taller one's firm arms, who also finds his favorite spot on Akaashi’s chest.

Bokuto has a very particular scent of his own, but now it's mixed with Kozume's, and it's slowly staining with his own as well. Keiji ends up sinking one of his hands into the messy hair and, with a little more confidence, presses his face there as well. In his mouth he still has the taste of the pudding he had shared a while ago with Kenma. He presses even harder on Bokuto thinking of the two of them: a couple who had been together for four years. He also thinks of himself being welcome among them, with a silent pact from all three of them. He feels absolutely calm, even though the frantic heartbeat pounding in his chest doesn't say the same.

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


If emotions had scents that Oikawa could perceive, tediousness would definitely be Iwaizumi's.

He had ended up following him without thinking too much about the possible consequences, and although at the beginning the shorter one had been clearly reluctant, he had soon raised the white flag that he interpreted more as a silent signal to  _ say something and I'll break your face _ , and not so much surrender. This is how they end up walking one behind the other separated by several steps and an abysmal silence, heading for the forest surrounding the campus.

His directions were short once they were lost in the trees:

"There are several types of traps scattered around the perimeter so you need to keep an eye out. They are not really hidden, since the zombies don't see them. If you find any alive, kill it, then you can remove the body from the trap, I'll set them again when you're done if you don't know how to do it yourself."

"Wait, aren't we going together?"

"It will be faster if we go our separate ways, Oikawa. We are here to work."

"But I don't know the area, I didn't bring anything with me either...!"

"You're-... Ok, shut your mouth." As he turns to face the taller one, Iwaizumi pulls a sharp knife from his thigh sheath and leaves it in his hands, all the while avoiding more contact than necessary. After a final warning, he continues on his way. "I want it back when you finish. Don't stray too far and learn to know the damn ground you live on."

About an hour and a half had passed by then. While at the beginning he had been driven by the notorious frustration of not being able to continue another bit at Hajime's side, Oikawa recognizes that he is right: they were there to clean the traps. What was he going to do anyway? Walk behind him, hinder his task?

Having come to the boarding school to begin with was in itself insane. His reality had taken a second drastic turn after meeting his old friends, alive, together. Even if his desire to spend time by Iwaizumi's side was the one that seemed to show the most, inside, Tooru felt only too much relief and gratitude for meeting him again. At times like these it was not something that could be guaranteed. But it was still crazy. The last time he had seen him had been more than five years ago, and the changes were noticeable, for better or worse. He could also sense how dull and formal Hajime looked even around those closest to him. The only times his expression softened was when he addressed one of the younger members of the group, including his own brother Tobio. At him Iwaizumi looked as if he wanted to throw him into a bonfire or something. And as long as Oikawa couldn't blame him…

He has cleaned up the area quite a bit, the truth is he doesn't want to wander too far either as he doesn't know the area well. Getting lost in the boarding school forest and dying because of some zombie trap would be too stupid. With the assurance of having been paying exact attention to his surroundings Tooru sets out to retrace his steps, maybe look for Iwaizumi. And it goes well, everything goes very well, everything goes wonderful. He just walks with the clean knife guarded in his own belt, thinking about Iwaizumi, in his face, in his voice, remembering too specific moments… The damned root in his way.

Oikawa stumbles and falls abruptly as he becomes entangled in a thick root sticking out of the ground. It was huge, how had he not noticed it? And his fucking ankle hurts.

“Shit! Auh…”

The sobbing isn't that loud or alarming really, but it apparently immediately draws Hajime, who probably wouldn't be too far away either. Their gazes meet, Oikawa still on the ground as the brunet approaches noticeably concerned.

"Are you okay? What...?"

“Ah, yeah, I just tripped, I didn't see the damn root…”

Embarrassment soon comes to the taller man's face. He had done an excellent job attending to the traps, all he expected was to receive Iwaizumi's congratulations… Or at least a less disapproving look. Instead the other's expression goes from concern to astonishment and from astonishment to disappointment in a matter of seconds.

"What a surprise that you didn't fall into any of the traps."

“Pfft… You wish. I cleaned them all. At least the ones I could reach. I decided to go back before I got too far away and could no longer recognize the path well. I was also able to put several back in place, it wasn't too hard to figure out how they work. And I arranged several of the corpses in strategic places to serve as stepping stones along the way. Hopefully it will be for the zombies and not for some human trying to escape or something like that…”

When he finishes speaking there is silence again between the two, but this time it's more because Iwaizumi doesn't know what to make of the genuine astonishment, which shows on his face anyway. He seems to hesitate between thanking him for the job or just ignoring him, so Tooru steps forward and breaks the silence once again, expression victorious and touched.

"I'm sorry I worried you just now. You looked really scared, I promise I'll take good care of myself so you don't have to make that face again. Hey! I don't die that easy."

Contrary to the defensive reaction he expects, Hajime seems to be too quick to anger. Oikawa knows he's screwed up when the shorter man's frown deepens.

"You think this is a fucking game?"

“No… No, of course not, I…”

"What's the matter with you? It's not fucking funny, for fuck's sake."

"I don't think it's a game, I didn't mean that, I'm sor-"

"People die easy, Oikawa. People are dying easy right now, this damn instant."

"I know, I don't think it's funny, I was insensitive in saying it, I-"

"What do you think you're doing here?"

“Huh? Well, I was done with my part and I thought that…”

"No. I'm asking you what you're doing here. In Japan."

He is tense. One can easily see it in his broad shoulders shaking, as if he is holding back the wild tide of emotions that threatens to hit them both. Oikawa was aware that something like this would happen sooner or later. Slowly and under his watchful gaze he stands up, trying to organize everything he has always wanted to explain. He doesn't know if this is the exact time to do it, or the place, but he has to take it. He has learned that opportunities are not forever.

"I came back from England only two days before all this blew up… I had just finished my education and came back as I had nothing else to compel me to stay there. The first day I was so tired from the jet lag that I could hardly leave my room. By the second day I had some business to attend to, I tried to contact Suga-chan to hear from you but my parents insisted that I visit the rest of my family, they wanted to give me a formal welcome. The meeting sucked, of course. The third day just… It all happened." The pause of the shorter one fills Oikawa with doubts, as he doesn’t know exactly if he should continue, wait for him, ask…

"Couldn't you ever get in touch? Five fucking years."

"It will sound like a lie, but I really couldn't. My parents… My parents found out about us, they found out about me, they heard one of our calls. They had been thinking about it before but they made the decision in the course of that same week. We argued really hard and in the end they just… They sent me to England. To another really strict boarding school. They kept my old phone so I didn't have access to any of your contacts, and it seems they paid extra money for the rector to keep his eyes on me. He wouldn't leave me alone for a damn second… When he caught me writing a letter to Suga I was ridiculously punished."

There is regret and sadness in his voice, as the memories creep into his mind one after another. He actually finds it hard to hold the boy's gaze, perhaps because of the very embarrassment of recounting all that he has lived through. Hajime remains silent and listens patiently, his doubts perhaps clearing up little by little.

"It was like that for the first two and a half years, until the rector was replaced. By that time I just thought that… You would hate me, or even remember me. Maybe by then you didn't even care a little bit anymore so I didn't want to bother with a sudden letter, or looking for you on other social nets. In the end I could only concentrate on finishing my studies and going back to doing my damn life, assuming I would never see you again."

"How can you even think about that? You were my boyfriend, damn it, do you have any idea how I felt? Suddenly you were just gone, disappeared without even leaving an explanation. When I went to look for you at your house your parents just said you'd gone to England to chase your damn dreams. They said if you hadn't mentioned it to me it was because I wasn't important in your fucking life."

“Did they say that...? Fucking…”

"Yes, Oikawa, that's what they said! Five fucking years of believing I'd fallen in love with a piece of shit who hadn't hesitated to leave me behind."

"But it wasn't like that, Iwa-chan!"

The more it all makes sense to both of them, the more despair grows in their voices, incredulous, disoriented and overwhelmed alike. Both parties were victims, but Oikawa keeps turning with resentment to the pathetic lies of his family, to the damage they did to his life, to his relationship, to Iwaizumi. To the idea that he will never be able to face them to talk about it. He takes a step in his direction but the shorter pulls back another two.

“Iwa-chan…”

"Don't call me that, don't even think about it. Whatever it was between us is over, Oikawa. It's meaningless right now."

" _ Whatever _ ? You said it, we were a couple! It wasn't my fault!"

"It really doesn't matter whose fault it was anymore! Don't you understand? Whatever it was, that's it."

"It never ended for me, Iwa-chan. I never stopped thinking about you." His words ignite in anger the shorter one, whom he notices likewise blushing, though he doesn't know exactly if it's from frustration or embarrassment. Whatever the case he himself feels his face burn after admitting aloud for the first time in years, his feelings. "Nothing has changed for me."

"Well, it does to me. And I don't want to listen to you, I really couldn't care less, Oikawa."

“Is that so, really? You said you spent these five years thinking about what happened to us…”

"That- you shut the fuck up, I’m telling you."

"I will when you're honest with me!"

"Shut your mouth, Oikawa!"

In the blink of an eye, Iwaizumi closes the distance between them with wide strides. He grabs Oikawa with a rough grip from the collar of his clothes, pushing him carelessly into one of the nearest trees. Everything happens really fast, leaving them with no time to process anything.

Getting carried away by the intensity of the moment neither of them had been able to orient themselves in the surroundings, they had not seen the noose trap that was waiting to be activated. One of Oikawa's feet falls directly onto it, the rope tangling around him and immediately pulling his body upwards, leaving him hanging upside down in the air. The first impact his body receives happens against one of the nearby trees, but the next… directly against the body of one of the walkers that none of them had seen and removed from the trap. Alive. Both dangling bodies swing and spin dangerously in the air.

" _ Tooru _ !"

"Shit, shit, shit."

The beast reacts immediately, taking advantage of the swaying to extend its arms in his direction. When they are about to collide again Oikawa moves as much as he can to do it from the front and not the back, clinging to the limbs of the walker to prevent it from grabbing him, otherwise everything would end there. The adrenaline rushes in them, Hajime moving aside a little to be able to take impulse and aim correctly at the rope, throwing the axe straight to cut the one that pulls Tooru's foot. Unfortunately for both of them the walker's grip is too strong, and he ends up breaking the one that had kept him trapped, falling along with Tooru violently to the ground. Although Oikawa hits his head in doing so, the extra weight of the zombie that immediately pounces on his body makes him overlook the pain. The grappling becomes intense as he tries at all costs to push it off him. Iwaizumi comes to his aid, pulling him off with inordinate force to throw him aside. Distance, he aims an arrow at its head and… Tooru is the one who ends up plunging the knife into the skull of the creature, ending all intention of attack in that instant.

Oikawa falls back on his back on the ground, taking a moment to relax the adrenaline rush he was experiencing and recover from the shortness of breath. Iwaizumi loosens the tension on his bow and similarly takes a few moments to calm down. The silence is broken a couple of minutes later.

"You know… There's no fucking point anymore, Iwa-chan." Though he speaks in barely a whisper, he knows that the alluded one is listening to him, without the need to verify it with his eyes. “There never was. My parents rejecting me for being homosexual, beating me, sending me away from everything I knew to study a damn career that didn't interest me, leaving me without knowing about anything or anyone… Lying. Now they aren't even here anymore, I barely saw them a couple of hours before they became a couple more of all these… What good is my fucking career now? What good are those stupid five years away… What good is their rejection, or missing them? It's fucking pointless…”

Slowly, the breaths come in rhythm again, somehow the feelings also seem to stabilize. Oikawa knows that they both understand each other now, despite being broken, despite feeling desolate and let down.

"Let's head back, Oikawa. They'll start looking for us if we don't signal soon."

  
  
  


…

  
  
  


Around one of the tables in the courtyard, several people watch the fervent debate taking place between the two young men. Perhaps calling it a debate is too much… Rather, poorly thought-out comments are thrown around at random. A short distance away Daichi rubs his face in one of his hands in exasperation. The rest of those present just watch.

"You say he murdered him in the woods...?" Suddenly asks Bokuto.

"I wouldn't be surprised to find a piece of Oikawa's arm if we go out looking for them now." Adds Kuroo.

"An arm!?"

"No, no… you're right, I think it would be his penis."

"Erect."

"Pfft, of course. Oikawa has always liked to be beaten by Iwa. I'm pretty sure he's seen him in his going-out attire and thought he could join him and eat-..."

"That's enough you two, you're a pain in the ass." Snaps Daichi.

The banter ceases for brief seconds after the order, but of course, if someone wished to deprive them of speech they would have to try harder than that. Both Bokuto and Kuroo resume the exchange of ideas and suppositions, which sound more and more far-fetched. At some point the rest of the people around them stop listening, especially when they get ready to bet. They bet money they find in random stores, the truth is that it is no longer of much use to them but it seems to be a tradition to which they have become attached.

"They're here, Daichi-san."

Tobio communicates from his position in the tower, giving the indication for the doors to open. Iwaizumi walks through the doors carrying Oikawa on his back. Once inside, he places him carefully on the floor, and without saying anything, he continues his way to the dormitories, giving a sidelong glance to Sawamura.

“Shit, he's not dead…” Murmurs Bokuto, dropping a couple of coins on Kuroo's right palm, who triumphantly receives them.

"Easy money with you, my dear friend, easy money."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! thank you so much if you've been keeping up with these few chapters, the support you leave means a lot to me. this story started out having a more sad and apocalyptic focus, but somehow ended up leaning more about the romance. i just let it flow.  
> this one is also a bit longer than the previous ones, but we are getting to know some of the characters and their pasts, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> random but, while editing this chapter, for the last IwaOi scene I was listening a lot to Darkstar, by Jaymes Young.
> 
> once again, thank you. see you next time! ( ◜‿◝ )♡

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo, many many many many thanks to whoever made it this far, hopefully it was an enjoyable read.
> 
> Small clarifications?  
> \- Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou and Bokuto Koutarou are 23 years old.  
> \- Nishinoya Yuu, Tsukihima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi are 21 years old.  
> \- Ushijima Wakatoshi is 24 years old.  
> \- Ushijima Kenjirou is 15 years old.
> 
> once again, thank you very much. have a nice day and see you in the next one! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧


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